24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
