literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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