we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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