youre lurking in front of me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
