I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You pole danced in your parka.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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