There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
