Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
