just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is my gift to your gina
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
