All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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