He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
