I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
