I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
