People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
