too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
