you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
