so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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