I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
