He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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