I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
