i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
