Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
