I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
