He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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