Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
