normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
