To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
