You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
