Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
