does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You ruined the universe
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
