I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
