woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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