real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize