If that was your dad, he is hot
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
