I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
