So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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