The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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