Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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