There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
