Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
