I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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