its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
