She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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