end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Couch. On fire.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
