Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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