Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
