even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
