What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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