glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
