READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
