you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
