i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
