Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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