party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
