I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
