so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I will pee on everything he values.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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