the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
