I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
