I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
